


A Literal Pain In The Ass

by notalone91



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, M/M, Oh, and it was a tfln prompt, but they are, hence the style of the title, james and remus are roommates, modern college au, peter and sirius are roommates, so they're technically not all roommates, sort of, their rooms have one of those shared bathrooms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 10:17:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4431449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalone91/pseuds/notalone91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(215):i don’t know why he’s complaining, i’m the one with four hickeys on my ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Literal Pain In The Ass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wellthatsood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellthatsood/gifts).



**From Prongs:**   Sit still, would you?  I’m trying to get a better glimpse of ms T when she bends over to help the idiot next to you!  
**From Padfoot:**   No can do

  
    Sirius sat perched on his heel, bouncing up and down.  His friend wondered if, perhaps, he just desperately wanted to get out of class.  He’d warned him a million times that he didn’t have the constitution for a class at 6:30 pm on a Friday.  Nevertheless, he’d insisted to James that he just needed a four credit course in this semester, and the only one that fit into his major that didn’t meet before dawn, which to him was anything before noon, was State, Empire, and Rebellion in MENA, so it didn’t much matter.  
   The remainder of the class dragged on and, as soon as the professor dismissed the class, he was off, leaving James scratching his head in puzzlement.

  
**From Wormtail:** dude whats with you the last couple days i dont think ive ever known you to lay in the grass  
**From Padfoot:** It’s nicer down here where I can’t see your ugly mug  
**From Wormtail:** asshole  
**From Padfoot:** Pretty close A near miss actually

  
   Peter stared out the window at his roommate, who for some inexplicable reason decided that 10 o'clock at night was the perfect time to try to study outside, for what he could only take into account as the first time.  
   From where he had flopped unceremoniously to the ground, Sirius winced a bit, pulling his cell phone from his back pocket, then stared down at it as it lay in his hands, tossing it back and forth a few times, before shooting off a quick text.

  
**From Padfoot:** I hate you  
**From Moony:**  Not true.  
**From Padfoot:** Yes true  
**From Moony:** What’s changed since last night then?  
**From Padfoot:**  You know what  
**From Moony:**  ;P  
**From Moony:** Want me to kiss it and make it better?  
**From Padfoot:** OPPOSITE OF HELPFUL

  
   It had been a particularly stressful night for Remus, who had to pick up a few extra shifts at the bookstore to make ends meet, and even the thought of his boyfriend being less than ecstatic after the previous night’s endeavors made him feel even worse.  He made a mental note to take it easier next time and to stop and pick up something for him on the way back to the dorm.  He wasn’t sure what would really help the situation, but he was sure this was definitely an “it’s the thought that counts” occasion.  
   As he crossed campus back to the dorms, he realized that he wasn’t really sure what it was that Sirius was so mad about.  He hoped, now, that it wasn’t something too terrible.    
   Back at home, the couples’ roommates were having a conversation all their own about it.

  
**From Wormtail:** ok so do you know wtf is up with Sirius  
**From Prongs:** No?  
**From Wormtail:** do you see him outside go find out  
**From Prongs:**  I say again… No?  
**From Wormtail:**  watch youll be pissed when he tells me before you  
**From Wormtail:** lemme guess  "And again… No?“  
**From Prongs:** One more time for the cheap seats

  
   Peter was beyond frustrated.  Normally, James was reasonably helpful about this kind of stuff.  Realizing he was probably with Lily, he rerouted his efforts to Remus.

  
**From Wormtail:** are you and sirius fightnig again?  
**From Moony:**  Again?  What?  No.  Jesus, Pete, where did you get that idea?  
**From Wormtail:**  idk he just seems off  
**From Moony:** And that’s my fault?  
**From Wormtail:** i thought you might know thats all no need to snap sorry i didnt mean anything by it  
**From Moony:** It’s fine.  I didn’t mean to be snippy.  Just tired, I guess. 

  
   As he reached the building, Remus found Sirius asleep in the grass, exactly where he’d been.  He roused him awake and managed to get him into the building and up to his room.  When they reached the door, he sent up a quick prayer to not find James on the other side of it.  Locked.  Fabulous.  He rifled through his pockets, found the key and went through.    
   Sirius flopped down onto Remus’ bed and sighed something about him being a literal pain in the ass.   
   With a laugh, he recalled the previous night’s activities that led to the discomfort to himself as he readied for bed.  
   In his pocket, Sirius’ phone buzzed right over the affected area, causing him to wince as he reached in to get it.

  
**From Wormtail:**  get a good nights rest  
**From Padfoot:**  What?  
**From Wormtail:**   idk just if you were tired today or sth  
**From Padfoot:**  What?  
**From Wormtail:**  remus said he was and he spent the night at our place and now you’re there so i figured  
**From Padfoot:**   I don’t know why he’s complaining I’m the one with four hickeys on my ass  
**From Wormtail:**  overshare dude  
**From Padfoot:** Overshare this

  
   As the room’s tenant climbed into bed, Sirius readied his phone’s camera and flipped him over onto his stomach.  He clawed his pants down and laid his teeth right into his boyfriend’s left buttock and snapped a picture, hurriedly fixing the attachment to the text message.  
   "OW!  What in the he-” he wheped, startled and adjusting himself so that he too could see the small screen.  He snickered a bit, before realizing that it was Sirius and it was actually going to be…  
   Sent.

  
**From Padfoot:**  img attachment 1/1 subject: payback

  
   "Stop it,“ Remus laughed, pushing Sirius over against the wall and pulling him up so they were face to face.  "Don’t you dare send that to…”  
   Through the wall, they heard a faint curse and the telltale sign of a phone dropping right onto a forehead, not forgetting the accompanying hiss of pain.  Sirius choked back a laugh just as the bedsprings in the next room squeaked, followed by the much louder thud of Peter falling right out of bed and to the floor.  "MOTHERF-“  
   The couple lapsed into hysterics, wrapping each other tightly in their arms.  They’d have to remember to apologize in the morning… Or not.


End file.
